When Working Moms get Laid Off

My position was eliminated last week due to restructuring and hiring lower level people to do the work.  I have been off work a week and am still trying to figure out what to do.  I know that I should be looking for an other job/career and I have signed up for many different job aggregators to send me lists of open positions in my field.  I feel that is a start, but it truly doesn’t mean anything unless you have a resume ready to send out. 

My old resume is 13 years old, which means I pretty much need to start over and just list my last company since I was there for 13 years and you don’t need to go back more than 10 years on a resume. I was a recruiter who looked at resumes all day long, yet when it comes to creating my own I have writer’s block. I even have a copy of my job description family to use a guide and rephrase the bullets on my resume. The problem is still that I just don’t feel like doing it. The other problem is that I just don’t know what else to do with my time in between looking or not looking for another job.  I am clearly not cut out to be a stay at home mom and we do eventually need for me to go back to work to make the family budget.

So far I have gone on some walks and played on the internet for hours.  Yes, I am addicted to Candy Crush as well. I tried picking the kids up from school, but the pick up line is ridiculous and the kids can be halfway home by walking by the time I get tot the front of the line. I have walked to school and walked home with them which is nice as well. When we get home the kids go straight to homework, then play on electronics.  One child likes to play cards with me, but the other only wants electronic games. The house is still cleaned by the housecleaner, so I don’t have to do that 3 hour chore once a week. I still do grocery shopping once a week which I can move to a weekday.  I did this yesterday and it took way longer than normal just because I didn’t have anything else to do for the day.  I don’t have any hobbies other than drinking wine with family and friends, but I don’t want to get in the habit of doing that mid-day. Laundry is still done at the same time when I worked.  I do a load of laundry almost every day, so I am always up to date anyways. The whole family is responsible for helping put laundry away and I don’t want to take that away from them just because I am at home.  The kids are still part of the family and need to have some responsibility in contributing to the household chores. Dinner doesn’t take longer to make just because I am unemployed.  It is still started at 5:30 and ready between 6:00 and 6:30. I love to cook and hoped that the family could have special requests for dinner, but they don’t care at all. 

Hopefully, I will eventually be motivated to do my resume so I can fill my days with interviews.  For now I am filling my days with some walks and lots of computer time. I admit that I am bored and this will get old very soon.

 

Celebrity Look Alike

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For years, and I mean at least 25+ years, people have come up to me and say that I look like someone they know.  My face is so familiar to them.  These people are women around my age that are also a product of sitcom in the 80’s.  “Excuse me, Is your name Mindy?”  My answer is always no, but I know exactly what they are talking about.  People think I look like and/or am Mindy Cohn or Natalie from The Facts of Life.  I do see the resemblance myself and it can be scary that I look more like her than I do my own sister.  She was my favorite character on the show as well because I could relate to her and her sense of humor.

How people approach me is kind of funny. They are never rude and many start off by saying they were put up to it by their girlfriends who had been debating for a while now whether it is Mindy or not.  Once I had a guy that knows me by name ask me.  His response was that he was put up to asking since he knows me.  He thought maybe I changed my name at some point.

Yesterday, a woman at the concert in the park approached me because I look so familiar to her.  Again, “Is your name Mindy?”  The funny part was that she admitted taking over 20 pictures of me and was googling Mindy Cohn on her phone to compare.  She then said something like you know that some famous people don’t look as good without make up and they thought maybe I was Mindy without make up.  While this is funny.  It sucks to be me as I was wearing make up and must still look like crap.

I really need to come up with a better and witty come back for these times.  I should also play along and charge people to take a picture with me.

I know she is not a popular celebrity anymore, but I would still love to meet her and get a picture with her.  I wonder if she knows she has a look alike out there and it is me.   What would people say to me if I tell them I am Mindy?  How much fun could I have to screw with other people’s minds?

Going to the Beach…Is it worth the trip?

I live in Sunny Southern California, North Orange County to be exact and I have always loved going to the beach.  Today was 95 degrees at  home in my Anaheim Hills backyard that has a pool.  I thought it was too hot to stay home and wanted something more than laying in the non-heated pool all day.  To be fair, the pool is probably about 70 degrees and the spa can be any temperature I want it to be above that. I knew going to the beach would be a 30 minutes commute and would be 15-20 degrees less.  The plus side about the beach is there are no distractions and the beach I go to does not have internet reception either.

As my family arrived at Corona Del Mar we unpacked our car and headed out to find a spot close to the water.  Being that is was such a hot day, everyone and their mother was at the beach.  Literally, it is Mother’s Day and we were all there. It was crowded and almost had no personal space between beach towels, seaweed, and other people.  But we were at the beach, so how bad can it really be?

The weather at the beach was overcast yet still warm enough that you had to go in the water to get cooled off.  My first thought is why did I leave my backyard to go to the beach and go in the 63 degree water?  I think it is so funny that I will not go in my pool at home when the water is less than 80 degrees, but at the beach the water never gets warmer than 68 degrees and I go in.  Why do I feel it is less disgusting to go in the ocean to take care of number 1 rather than go use the public restrooms way up across the sand? 

Three hours of uninterrupted family time and the inability to check Facebook was great.  The people watching is wonderful and it is so easy to listen to other’s conversations which I thoroughly enjoy.  This time nobody had music playing, so it was us, nature, and 1000+ other beach goers.  It is also fun to see what bathing suits people think it is acceptable to wear and how confident they must be with their bodies to wear something so skimpy where their ass is completely hanging out. Who can resist watching the little kids build sand castles and burying themselves in the sand? 

When it is time to go home, it takes 30 minutes to pack up, rinse off all the sand, and get back in the car for the 30 minute ride home.  Once you are home, you have to take another shower and put away the beach gear. It seems like a lot of work.  The reality is that if I stayed home in the backyard I would have had to clean the backyard and the pool and it is Mother’s Day after all.  Going to the beach is just a nice way to do something different and get away from it all.

For as much work as it is to have a pleasant day out at the beach is it worth it?  Do other people not go in their pool water when it is less than 80, yet think nothing of going in the 63 degree ocean water? 

 

When all is said and done, the uninterrupted family time and a chance to get a little color is always worth it to me.  A change of scenery and a day out of the norm is a good day out.

You’re Never Too Old to Make Good Friendships

It is funny how friendships change as we grow older. Growing up and through college I wanted friends that were at similar stages in life like me. I wanted friends that were my age and had little drama. After college came challenging years where I hung on to school friendships and then people start moving away and getting married. After I was married and my children had not entered school yet, my dream was to have friends close by where the husband and wife were still together, had children in the same age range as mine, and where my husband and I liked the other couple and not just the wife. This was a true struggle for a few years, but then the turning point hit when my kids started school.

As the kids were old enough to be in scouts and start playing sports, we have had the opportunity to make that dream of mine come true. We have met some of the best families through sports and scouts. I have to admit that it is easy to make friends when you have a pool and like hosting social gatherings. One invitation can lead to a lifetime of friendship.

It is wonderful to make new friends at middle age although I hate to admit we are in that range. At this stage of our lives, the friends we make are not pretentious, but are gracios and truly happy to accept the invitations especially when they don’t have to get a babysitter. It is so ideal when the kids hang out and the parents hang out and all get along. Also, the adults recognize what it takes to have someone over and all offer to bring something. We have had many gatherings where families bring appetizers, drinks, and more than enough side dishes or other food. We also recognize that we are all busy, nothing is perfect and the chance to relax with friends stress-free is golden. Because we are so busy some of the best times have been with last minute invites like one we were invited to at 9:00 am the day of the get together.

We have made the best friends through cub scouts due to the many family activities involved. Sports friends are easy to make as well by just going out for pizza after the game. The best part of the friends we have is that the invitations are not one way. If you get invited to someone’s home it is great to reciprocate and I think some people don’t get that part. Reciprocation can be in the form of an outing or time at the park, but it does not have to be in your home only.

It continues to be a wonderful journey in life when you open your home, open your heart, and reach out to new people. You never know when people may move away so you need to continue to make new friends every year. It is work that is well worth the payoff.

The Girl Scouts could not have said it better than in the first song we learned in scouting:

Make new friends and keep the old,

One is silver and the other is gold.

What new friendships are you working on?

Going through life with the right partner.

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My husband is a good man, husband, and father.  There is no gaurantee in life that when you get married you are making the right choice. Today is my 16th wedding anniversary and I am proud that I made the right choice.

In addition to marrying Kevin, I married into a wonderful family who shares the same values as me and are just great people to be around. Although Kevin’s family and siblings are at a different stage in life than Kevin and I , they have been so wonderful and have shared great advice and experiences with us.  I think they drink more when I am around, but I don’t think it is because of me.

Things I love about my husband:

  • He is very laid back
  • He is not high maintenance
  • He makes a great Cabana Boy and is a master mixologist
  • He makes wonderful cocktails for me and always knows the right time that I need one. 
  • He is a great father to our two children
  • He is wonderul at playing games with the kids and me
  • He knows lots of random trivia
  • He will watch my shows with me if I ask even if it is a silly comedy
  • He has a good sense of humor and is very sarcastic
  • He supports me when I need to get out of the house and get away
  • He is a full time partner in chores around the house and taking care of the kids
  • He makes stuff up quite frequently that can be funny and annoying at the same time
  • He enjoys cooking and trying new recipes with me
  • We make great traveling partners and have had the opportunity to see and do quite a bit before having kids.  Actually, we have gone on some very nice vacations with the kids too.
  • He supports me and my activities and interests in so many ways
  • He is active in the kid’s activities and supports their interests

There are so many things to be thankful for.  Today I am thankful for my husband.

 

 

Secret stash of ______?

 What is in your secret stash?  Is it just me or does everyone have a secret stash of something?  What is your something?  I don’t mean any illegal substances

I keep a secret stash of cash in my purse.  It is not a lot, but enough to borrow from and repay next time I go to the ATM. I am a firm believer that everybody should have a secret stash of $20 to $100 in their purse.  You never know when you run out of your everyday cash supply and may need to supplement at the last minute because you need to send cash to school with your child the next day for something.  Mine is there in case I need it and don’t have time to run to the ATM prior to the event.  It is a pet peeve of mine to see moms that don’t have money or their checkbook when you need it.   So my secret stash really isn’t secret as my family knows I have it, but it is for emergencies only.

The history of my secret stash is as follows.  When I was first married 16 years ago, I would take out $100 from the ATM and give my husband and I each $40 for lunch money for the week. Neither of us every brought our lunch. Obviously, that meant I was stashing away $20 a week and after 6 months I knew that I really shouldn’t be carrying around $500 in my purse.  I rectified this situation by going to the jewelry mart and buying myself some diamond earrings.  Now my stash is $100 or less. Sometimes my sister would write me a check for $40 and take that amount from my stash.  Mine will never get that high again, but I will never have less than $20 on me either.

Secret stashes are not limited to money. It can be any item that is hidden away for when you are desperate.  My last resort dinner stash is called a couple cans of chilli to feed the family when I don’t feel like cooking. 

I always have a secret stash of chocolate.  Unfortunately, my daughter finds that quite a bit and I have to share.  She is very resourceful. I am pretty sure she has a stash of other candy hidden in her room from me as well.

I know some moms who keep a stash of games or gifts in their closet to pull out when their child’s friend has a birthday and they didn’t have time to shop.

My sister, brother, and I all have a flask.  We know what that is hidden in that secret stash. Enough said.

I am a firm believer in having a secret stash of cash and many other things.  What do you keep in your secret stash?  How many people know and share your secret stash?  Yes, I know that it really isn’t secret then, but I like to go back to the Boy Scout motto of “Be Prepared”.  After reading this will you start to carry a secret stash of something?